whaaat the hell!!???

hmm so i haven't been on since january... ok nothing really new still in the same relationship with c dub 8 months next week but
there was TONNNSSSS of drama inbetween that crap shit i guess i'm gonna write about it right now since i have nothing else better to do and just for memories .. doubt anyone will read this but wtf  it helps me better to vent haha.. alrighty here i go!

so towards to end of february things started to get weird with me and wasson.. baseball and tennis season had started but its not like i was ever busy with tennis or anything but he sure was with baseball! and i don't wanna say that like baseball got in the way of the relationship but i think it was just a lame excuse for him to use because i'm pretty sure the other guys from the same exact team as he took the time to do other things like talking to me. mmhmm but yeah it just started gettin weirder and moreee awkward  and we barely talked.. he would call me but it would be the shortest and quietest conversation ever and at school it was just awkward yet again.. excuses excuses. And then i went to one of the state basketball games and i needed a ride and he wasn't sure how his stupid ass was gonna get there. So the next the day ryan actually picks me up (i asked him ) so we can go to the t dome to watch the basketball games and whats funny.. is that the night before i read some comments.. and chris.. aka wasson was commenting his friend about what time he should pick him up. YEAH pretty shady right? so yeah ok back at the tdome me ryan and kevin walked in at the same time that chris pedro and tyler were walking in.. hella awkward so i ask chris.. how he got there and he was like A CAR and i'm just there thinking fuckin dipshit no shit! and i was like yeah ok who drove and he was like ME. I'm there all pissed off wondering why he couldn't have brought me when i asked him for a ride and he made some dumb excuse saying that tyler is big so you can't fit another person in there and i'm like OKKK i'm pretty sure i'm a fucking stick compared to all you guys so i'm pretty sure i could of fit.. BUT YEAH ok during the girls basketball game awkward yet again.. i decided to go sit with him where he was being completly gay and ignoring me and so at one point i felt left out and walked to the bathroom to cry. After the girls basketball game was over there was an hour break until the boys basketball game.. so i left with ryan to drop off kevin all the way back to lacey. yeah and then at the game more awkwardness and no talking and shit like that so i'm like fuck it haha and cried in the bathroom yet again and pretty much didn't spend much time hangin around him during the game cause his ass deserted me. man i'm getting all pissed off just thinking about it.

This is where everything fell apart.. i think it was that night of the basketball game we decided to go on a break because he thought it was "UNFAIR" for me to like deal with the fact that he doesn't have time for me. unfair my ass. But yeah we were on a "BREAK". and then the next day at school was kinda weird.. one of my friends asked me about me and chris and i was like i don't know why don't you ask him.. (you'll find out what he said soon ) but yeah that night again there was another basketball game at the tdome and i was in tacoma and asked my friend to take me.. hahah my stupid ass decided to drink before going in! I mean i didn't do it because all depressed it didn't really phase me at the time and i was like what the hell! take advantage of the time. But yeah i was a bit tipsy during the game and there goes chris at the game too totally didn't talk to his ass haha no shit cause we were on a break.. i mean it was weird not like talking at him at all but whatever i was over it at the time.. hahah and the story just gets more juicier.. that night my friend ryan ( the one who took me to the first game) and i were talking about all the bullshit that was going on between me and chris.. he was there  for me when this all happened and i was able to vent to him about this crap. man did he make  me feel better!!! but yeah about that friend who asked me about me and chris? well YEAHH he told me that chris said we broke up and i mean theres a big difference between a BREAK and BREAKING UP. and thats when all the confusion happened to me! but i was like wtf let it go let it go.. i won't talk to me and shit. but yeah Ryan later asked me if i was doing anything later that night and i said no so we went to applebeeesss!! it was completly awkward though because when we got there .. there were some ridge people there and the waiter totally made us sit by ourselves in isolation which was pretty awkward again.. and then this is where all the magic happened! more like dramaa!

Ok after that applebees night with Ryan.. rumours started flying! everyone thought that me and ryan were talking now that me and chris weren't together.. and whats sad is that i totally still believed we were on a break and i didn't take the time to talk to chris about it. BUT YEAH me and ryan totally denied all those rumours cause they weren't true at all i mean like we were just friends and was being really nice to me and helping through my bad timess you know. Totally didn't have any intentions of having feelings for him. and i knew he didn't have any feelings for me either.. SO I THOUGHT. Yeah yeah but as the days went by the more and more me and Ryan talked.. we hung out alot doing nothing.. applebees was our thing haha yeah yeah and then he admitted to me that he liked me! and that he liked me for awhileee which i already knew because my friends told me hahaha. But secretly i did have feelings for him too but i never told him because i thought it would be unfair to say since i still like chris. I kept hearing all this crap about Chris saying that we aren't together and i never once heard that he said we were on a break. Yeah my bitch ass was all confused and the Sadies dance was coming up! i was planning on talking to him there and trying to clear things up with him so my dumbass could move on but my friends were telling me to not tell him because he might ruin my night.. so i decided to call him like a week before sadies.. hahah man was i pretty furious that night because he didn't answer his phone and it seemed like he automatically pressed ignore so it went straight to his voicemail. and i was like man it is for real done i am finished. and then he called me later that night and shit. i was just asking his ass about our stupid break and if we were even still on it and shit and i honestly don't remember what we specifically said because i was so damn mad but all i do know is that we offically broke things off.